Mar/12/2025
Mood: pockets of sunshine Earth by Sunset Prototype
White Mocha Ice Coffee TCGPocket Project: Somnium Saturnia Pages

Spring is almost here

it's not fair how something as simple as going outside and getting a few minutes of sunshine makes my brain not want to kill myself~
back working on the comic daily now in one way or another, be if script drafting, lineart, color, ectect. decided to find a new rendering style that isn't going to take me hours to do because of how much of a perfectionist i am. also i'm not going to focus of so much background "detail" unless a panel really needs it. that's just adding too much on my plate.
world's still shit and a cybertruck is within a 5mile radius of me and it feels like aluminum foil in my mouth when i see it. they are so fucking ugly, lol.
i made eye contact with them the one time in a parking lot. i was laughing at it as the dude was walking up and laughed even harder when they got in.
i have a new sona, but it might be a minute before i make their new page. hell i need to finish working on itch's stuff...like actually typing out recipes and uploading pictures of my goblin trinkets.
OH. i made a new wizard theme. cause wizards are cool.
sorry really nothing new to report so until next time~

Feb/17/2025
Mood: Cold + snowy Then It All Goes Away by Dayglow
Water TCGPocket Project: fixing HTML

Back at it Again at Krispy Kreme

Some major revamps. originally it was just little things, but with filegarden being down i figured it was time to redo some stuff
brain is broken still
it was really bad in january. still alive.

haven't worked on Somnium in about a month. i'm not ready to say the H-word. trying to just...get through all of ~THIS~
world sucks, but it keeps spinning. blahblahablahablah
blahblahablahablah
figured i'd update this blog with the newish layout.
really the only page/project to finish updating is my Opossum stuff.
I know the filegarden dude has a temp javascript available, but we'll see. i don't want to use up all my space on neocities.
i'm suppose to be working on dinner...WOMP
all the hours i've spent working on code and what not.
owelllllllll

Nov/06/2024 mood: none
music: none
You have to live...
Shit sucks, it really does and it feels more bleak than it did 8years ago.
Nov/03/2024 mood: groggy
music: Fly, Little Blackbird- Borealism
And October is Gone...
We had the warmest Halloween on record this year. Kind of kills what little fun there is to enjoy before the 5th. This year politcally has been the wackiest yet..bluugh. i don't want to loom on those feelings.
Still slowly working on Somnium and likewise developing Roadkill Asylum. With thanksgiving coming up i'll have some recipes to share.
Getting myself on a routine schedule is hard for me and learning that it's just my AuDHD brain fighting with me every inch of the way is exhausting and leads to more burnouts. But i have some goals i really want to achieve and keep up with.
(but apparently stating those goals before they've happened also makes my brain go "Naaw fuck it")
Maybe i should have waited another week before cutting back on my coffee consumption, lol.
Sept/10/2024 mood: crafty
music: Pressing Flowers-The Civil Wars
Chill in the morning air
Over the weekened i deep cleaned my bedroom and dusted off all my knickknacks before pulling out my autumnal/halloween decorations.
Seeing pumpkin/halloween displays being set up in my local grocery store the middle of July doesn't kill my seasonal spirit, but i don't like it being pushed out so early only to be GONE when true autumn and Halloween are here (craft stores excluded).
though, this year i am in a bit of a crafty mood. i've been slowly getting my craft supplies back that had been in storage for almost a decade and i miss making things.
makes me miss this big craft fair/village i'd go to during this time and just being inspired by all the handmade crafts and goods. smell of hot cider, turkey legs and kettle corn. Last time i went, the push of the mass produced re-sellers was creeping in, i can only imagine POSTCOVID what it's like now.
i'm happy to enjoy my apples and pumpkins for the time before winter rears it's cold and unfriendly face. Shame there wasn't any mushrooms in the yard, especially after the storms we had, but it was very dry in august. hmmmm.
Aug/08/2024 mood: nostalgic
music: BBQ Riot Song-ELLEGARDEN
Summer Depression Comes Every Year...
So...July was one hell of a month.
nothing like an attempted political assasination in your backyard y'know?
celebrated my 10yr anniversary with my partner~ thought i was in the right mental state to continue Somnium, but ended up just shutting down again or focusing on the news.
went back and revisted my old sona from my highschool years, the original Wolfy and renamed them Mutt. Distracted myself over the weeks designing their homepage and attempting to recreate a MySpace like profile.
i just want to revist the nostalgia i had in my teenyears...when the internet didn't feel so small and we weren't all doomscrolling 24/7.
August's have always been a trigger for my SAD, the left over anxiety+trauma of getting ready to go back to school. it's been 17yrs and that shit still has me waking up in a cold sweat hearing a school bus engine at 6:45am.
i love having a broken ass brain aaaahahaaaa.
Jun/28/2024 mood: exhausted
music: Climax-Djo
The universe decided to hand me plenty of distractions.
The 17th we had one hell of a storm blow through, serious enough to hunker down in the basement. Tree landed on the house, but thankfully with minimal damage. That tree took out a big branch that hung over the house, that i got to witness in front of my bedroom window before rushing to the basement (That was an adrenaline rush for 24 hours).
Power was out for two days (we don't have the luxury of running water when that happens). Several back and forth trips from home to me mum's place, with a spare fridge and freezer. All while a record breaking early heatwave is also going on.
Tree people came the day after to take the tree off the house and clean up the branches, but we had no idea when they were coming back to take care of another tree that needed to come down
Things sort of settled down and then we got a really good offer on a new fridge. Boyfriend and I went and picked it up with help from me mum. Tree people finally came on the 24th.
On the 25th Boyfriend and i decided that would be a good day we'll replace the fridge. We figured it should take us no longer than 2 hours right? Riiiiight???

It took us over NINE hours.
Between having to search all over the house for the right tools, we had to remove the doors from both fridges to fit through the doorways. It was just...miserable. and it didn't need to take as long as it did, but it did.
So that meant...WE HAD TO GO BACK TO ME MUM's to use the spare fridge and freezer again.
On the 26th we head out to pick up our stuff and another serious storm blew through while we were driving. Boyfriend and i ate our dinner we picked up earlier, waiting for the storm to blow over at me mum's place (she was at work). I'm not gonna complain cause that means i get to see her critters~
9 years ago we had 3 trees come down in our yard. 6 years ago (this was in the winter tho) we had several LARGE branches crash down during an ice storm. 3 years ago our neighbors across the street had several come down, blocking the road. And we still have so many trees in our yard still that need to come down, but you know....$$$$$. Seems to only really be happening in yearly intervals of 3...wonder what 2027 is gonna give us.
June is the rainy/storm season where i'm at, but it's only gotten worse over the years. Hell we had a thunderstorm in February...A Tornado warning in April.
Thank goodness i use my metal straws.

i got my distractions and now i'm ready to try and work on Somnium some more.
Jun/15/2024 mood: distracted
music: Candy Spaceship-Snail's House
bluuugh

Chapter one is almost halfway over, but i feel kind of stuck. i don't know if it's selfdoubt/sabotage that i keep getting myself distracted. i haven't written or sketched anything.
everything going on with instagram/meta is tiring and everyone claiming that "CARA" is the next best thing feels like the next hypetrain that i don't feel like boarding.
i barely use twitter and bluesky just feels a little stagnant.
i feel like i've failed for not trying harder a decade ago to build an established audience or something. being a microscopic artist in the social media rat race fucks with your brain a little bit.

i just want to put something out into the world and if anybody sees it, great. atleast it's out there i suppose.

oof...feels like the summer depression's hitting a few months early.

Apr/27/2024 mood: nostalgic
music: Dead Oaks-Now,Now
Slow n Steady

i can't believe April is almost over. Taurus season is here!! Everything is going so fast...maybe it's the ice coffee i just finished.
i've been messing around with my laptop trying to clear stuff to run smoothly to try and stream, but at the end of the day it is a 9year old laptop.

outside of working on my comic, i really feel like this year is another art block heavy year.

Apr/06/2024 mood: focused
music: Capricorn-Vampire Weekend
Almost..

Finally getting my energy back and got a lot of work done. mostly making profile layouts for the different projects pages.
feeling a little bad because i haven't been drawing or scripting stuff for Somnium Saturnia.
it's because i'm a stubborn perfectionist who has to finish what i've started and can't leave things looking..."unfinished".
don't be like me. don't be silly.

i still need to go through my various bookmarks to make a resource page for my various graphics n whatnot.

Mar/30/2024 mood: tired
music: Saturn-SZA
on the mend....

being sick for over a week and being too tired to sit at my computer made me feel like a slug